| (no subject) |
[Dec. 30th, 2009|02:24 am] |
2009 was a miserable ditch. It had it's ups and it's downs, and I had some pleasant company to spend it with, but by and large... it sucked.
It's easy to blame a year, so I won't. I just hope it hobbles it's scythe carrying ass off it's mortal coil soon enough. |
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| Of course, it IS Wal-Mart |
[Dec. 30th, 2009|12:42 am] |
When I read something like this, I have to ask myself "What sort of idiot would think, even for a second, that it's somehow okay to put a surveillance camera in the bathroom?"
Then I realize that we're talking about a Wal-Mart here. That probably explains much of it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 29th, 2009|01:47 am] |
Reading two books that bizarrely compliment each other:

and

Age of American Unreason, by Susan Jacoby, takes as it's thesis that Americans are unredeemably irrational and devoted to pseudo-science, magical thinking and anti-intellectualism. She presents a very solid historical overview of how she believes we got this way, going by to the Second Great Awakening of the 18th century, and moving forward to how the period between the War of 1812 and the Civil War showed a great deal of potential toward a defined, purely American intellectual style, which was tragically cut short by civil strife.
Jacoby then discusses how the American right-wing is not a party with an actual political platform, or even a desire to do anything at all except continue to exist, and will do so through any means possible. It's best defense, naturally, is a less-educated voter clientele, and so the right-wing consistently sabotages any effort to enlighten via education through a party line of anti-intellectualism.
Not to spare Obama out of this, she then accuses Obama of using the same methods the Bush regime used, and while he talks a good talk in defense of logic and reason, he still uses the language of elite-vs.-populist to get what he wants. That America is growing out of populism (for now at least) is merely Obama's good fortune.
Occult America, by Mitch Horowitz, takes a similar historical backdrop into a different direction: Horowitz is a believer, and he believes quite firmly in that particularly American form of mysticism that eschews ritualism in favor of charisma. He makes a wide swath through American history, covering everything from the Publick Universal Friend to the creation of the Ouija Board (he asserts that it is far from ancient and is an American innovation) to Mormonism and the anti-Masonry parties.
Lots of fun facts here, for instance:
- William Miller, a staunch anti-Mason who was "disappeared" for publishing the first book on Freemason rituals, left behind a wife who would go on to marry Joseph Smith, who would adapt those same rituals into Mormonism.
- Abner Doubleday, advocate of baseball, personally funded the original English translations of high ritualist, Eliphas Levi. Knowing Levi as I do, I kinda suspect now that baseball is nothing but a gigantic ritual combat that has to continue to maintain the good of the Republic. Why else would the president have to throw out the first ball every year?
- The trial of Anton Mesmer by Louis XVI included, on it's jury of experts, Benjamin Franklin, who ruled against Mesmer's animal magnetism. Franklin, whose occult bona fides are fairly well known, didn't see any positives about hypnosis or the aetherial fluids.
So, of course, as I think about these sorts of things a lot, Horowitz and Jacoby seem to work in tandem here, saying one thing but on two different sides: America's inherent anti-elitism leads to quite a lot of nonsense, and weirdly enough, it's that it's inherently American that makes it endearing. Mormons and Christian Scientists and Blavatsky Theosophists speak a lot of gibberish... but it's our gibberish, damn it. The point is made that attempts to get at "real" occultism, pointedly directed at the "neopagan" movements of the 70s to now, which appropriate "ancient" blah-de-blah and present themselves as an actual tradition with historical value, are distinctly alien to America's rocky shores.
Americans, as both Horowitz and Jacoby reiterate, have a strange tradition, in that we like to tear down old things and replace them with new things. This is probably why we have no real problem with tearing down a historical neighborhood and putting up a Wal-Mart... that Wal-Mart will eventually be torn by something else, and so on and so on, as long as Americans keep doing what it is Americans do best: tear shit up and bullshit about it afterwards.
As Crow T. Robot once commented, "There's no tradition like a new tradition." |
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| Some interesting implications there... |
[Dec. 28th, 2009|04:24 pm] |
Scientists have succeeded in resurrecting an extinct species, the Pyrenean ibex (a type of goat), by cloning. So, could we in theory sample every species on the planet and catalogue them in a genetic library so we can bring them back in the event of an extinction event (man-made or otherwise)? |
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| I hate these things. |
[Dec. 28th, 2009|10:41 am] |
So, in no particular order, the best things of 2009:

We get New Super Mario Bros. Wii! This game is deceptively simple... everything you need to know to play is made available to you within seconds of playing it. The plot is exactly par to everything else in the series (the Princess is kidnapped via a giant cake. Easy peasy.), and we get a return of the Koopalings, which haven't been seen in some time.
But where the game really shines is in multiplayer... up to four players can play at once, and the game has actively created tension by making players screw each other over for the best tricks. But, more than just backstabbery, some of the best Mario stunt playing is only possible with a team of four, such as the video of the Luigi player doing absolutely nothing (not even walking) and being tossed around by three other players on Yoshis, getting sucked up and spit out, eventually taking the 1-up at the castle flagpole. Best party game of our time.

Inglourious Basterds blew us away. While the Kill Bill movies had been an homage to Asian cinema of the 70s, Inglourious Basterds was a thrilling pastiche of 50s and 60s era World War II action movies, or, at least that's what Tarantino wanted us to think as we walked in. Instead of The Dirty Dozen, we got something very different. Brad Pitt and his "Basterds" took less than a third of the movie's screen time, while the rest of the film dealt with the cat and mouse suspense game of Shoshanna the escaped Jewish girl and Colonel Hans Landa, an endearingly sinister Gestapo agent.
Landa was the fictional character of the year... undisputedly. He dominated the film like Hannibal Lector, while still being goofy enough for the film's outlandish sensibility. Who can forget, once seen, his ludicrous meerschaum pipe or his insistence on whipped cream?

The Box, too, made me happy, although I only did after I left the theater. It's a rare thing to see science fiction in the old Richard Matheson tone, minus it's post-Star Wars fantasy escapist elements, and what we have here is an extraordinarily self-composed film by Richard Kelly, who isn't exactly known for his sense of restraint. Again, 2009 seemed to have been the year of the Dapper Villain, and we have another one with Frank Langella's eerily professional Mr. Steward, an alien in disguise who has been unleashing a moralist test upon beleagured humanity... the implication being, of course, that nobody will not press the big red button that kills somebody for $1 million, and Mr. Steward's alien friends will destroy us all eventually anyway.

Not to be confused for the Ewan MacGregor vehicle of the same name, Rogue Trader was a pleasant surprise for me, as I had long discounted the Warhammer universe. Here is a worthy update of both Seven Seas and Spelljammer... IN SPAAAAAAAAAAAAAACE. The ol' "Wooden Ships and Iron Men" genre is taken to the Crank-It-To-11 silliness of Warhammer's science fantasy universe.
What really sets Rogue Trader apart is it's comprehensive system for the feeling of space travel on an operatic scale. PCs are usually the elite crew of a ship of thousands, hurtling through a forbidden sector in space, essentially a Chaotic Evil crew of Ferengis. And, this being Warhammer, even the base character can crush a tank in it's fist. While power gaming isn't exactly everybody's thing, Rogue Trader does make up for the sheer capability of it's PCs in genuine terrors and threats lurking out there in the cosmos. The aliens and monsters are convincingly terrifying, and the rewards for adventure are inspiring. I can understand that not everybody would get a thrill out of playing the Human Imperium from Warhammer, given their staunchly monotheistic and fascistic tone, but they definitely do have charisma enough to keep me interested.
And trust me, I'm not buying figures or anything to paint.

OK, OK... so Zombies Ate My Neighbors definitely didn't come out in 2009. But it did come out in Virtual Console in 2009, and I couldn't believe it took so long. |
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| Well, that was disappointing |
[Dec. 27th, 2009|11:41 pm] |
A while back, I posted a link to some Mega-blocks Halo Wars building kits that are available this year. Well, I actually got two of them for Christmas, and tonight I tried to put one together. I say "tried" because there are two salient facts I didn't realize about Mega-blocks until this date, since I don't think I've ever owned one of their kits before:
1. Their quality control is crap, because I'm missing a critical piece (it holds one of the wheels on - without it, the vehicle has a distinct lean), and 2. Their quality control is crap, because various pieces just do not fit or click into other pieces they are supposed to fit or click into. Either the hole is just a hair too big, and the piece falls right out, or the hole is just a hair too small, and the piece doesn't quite fit.
Either way, I think I'm gonna stick to Lego from now on - it's a shame, because Mega-blocks has some interesting-looking kits. Unfortunately, based on tonight's experience, they're likely utter crap. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2009|02:11 am] |
I've long thought that the tale of Bran the Blessed would make for a fantastic Mary Blair style Lil' Golden Book, that starts out adorable and then starts going south with the zombified Irish soldiers and disembodied head cult.
Maybe I'll do it as a three-parter with the Children's Crusade and Why Santa Claus Eats His Babies. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 25th, 2009|12:59 am] |
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"The "Antichrist" is a bit of a misnomer. Yeah, Christ and he had a little tiff at the Christmas party, names were called, fingers were pointed, but the office newsletter says they're playing in the golf tourney together, so maybe they've patched it all up." |
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| Before I leave... |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|09:59 am] |
Nerf apparently has their own channel on Youtube. If the offices I worked at were like that, work would be a lot more interesting! |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 24th, 2009|12:44 am] |
SUCCESSFUL RICE BALL SHINE GET! 100% LUCKY AWESOME!
As some may know, I like Asian food a lot. Possibly more than any other ethnic cuisine. For some time now, I've been struggling to make orthodox onigiri. Then, I learned the horrible dirty secret:

They cost like $3 and take literally no practice to do correctly. I am ashamed that for years I just assumed it was some sort of ANCIENT JAPANESE SECRET.
I think, however, that I prefer to use jasmine rice over sushi rice. I am now seriously, and with no shame whatsoever thinking about Rice-a-Roni onigiri. Seriously. I might as well just build myself a sweatlodge and call myself "Medicine Running Deer White Thunder", cause there's nothing more satisfying to a nerdy white man than bastardizing a cultural distillation.
Hell, I could just take off the seaweed and call them "Celtic Rice Bread" or something and sell 'em down at the co-op for $15 a pop. Hippies will buy anything if you add "Celtic" onto it. |
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| (no subject) |
[Dec. 23rd, 2009|09:57 am] |
I, for one, am quite glad that the Smurf PVCs are back. I've been wanting some new ones for some time.
Man, so, a statement I made on POE about Frank Herbert being the last nail in the coffin of science-fiction-as-social-criticism seems to have struck a chord. POE being what it is, there's not much of a way to really link you back to the original argument, but the gist of the statement was, essentially, that Herbert himself was not a villain, merely his slavishly devoted plagiarists.
I think the highlight of the argument was when somebody demanded to know why I didn't think Ursula K. Le Guin was science fiction... I gave up at that point.
Nerds is nerds, and you can't change that. |
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| TRUE TALES OF INTRIGUE AND CUSTOM PART 1 |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|07:36 pm] |
Alright, so I figure that now I'm safe to start reporting on some of the crazy people that come into the store I work at on a regular basis. I think I'll start with Skinny Peter Lorre.
Skinny Peter Lorre is a kid who appears to be about 23-24, doesn't appear to have any regular employment, and constantly comes in wearing dirty/ratty clothes. I call him Skinny Peter Lorre because he does indeed look like a skinny Peter Lorre, but if he didn't have hair, he'd also look quite a bit like Count Orlock. He's deathly pale... paler than I am (which is really saying something), and possesses a pair of GIGANTIC, OWL-LIKE EYES. Huge eyes. Like, stun you with headlights eyes. Also, he has some sort of unplaceable Eastern European accent, which he takes great pains to hide. Only occasionally will I be able to pick it out, but it's there. He's definitely one for the book.
S.P.L. comes into the store about five times a night. I don't know if he comes in during the day, but I assume not, since he doesn't look like much of a day person. His main situation seems to be that he uses the store I work at for his sole source of shopping needs. He routinely drops about $20-$30 dollars a day on junk food... mainly candy and chips. I'd theorize he's on drugs, if only because he looks like it, but there's just so much going on here I have no real definitely response. Considering that nobody really lives nearby (for a few blocks at least), and he doesn't wear any identification cards on lanyards to tell me he works nearby, I can only assume that he's a dealer.
Anyway, S.P.L. is a fascinating character. |
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| THE SINGULAR MAJESTY OF CHRISTMAS |
[Dec. 22nd, 2009|12:36 am] |
Hello.
I am quite certain that most of you know that I hate Christmas.
"Why?", you ask, silently.
BECAUSE I BELIEVE WE ARE AS A CULTURE ARE FORGETTING THE TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS.
That's right.
FOR IT IS ON THIS SACRED NIGHT THAT WE WERE GIVEN JINGLE CATS. WE ARE TRULY A BLESSED EPOCH INDEED, FOR THE LORD HAS WAXED GENEROUS UPON OUR SOULS.
I shall keep it's truth in my heart all days of the year. |
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| Mmm, haggis! |
[Dec. 21st, 2009|10:14 pm] |
I recently started volunteering at the local army cadet corps - helping the kids out, etc. Tonight was their annual mess dinner. The menu was Caesar salad, turkey with mashed potatoes, stuffing, and vegetables, haggis, and apple pie for dessert. Yes, haggis. They even did the "Address to a Haggis" poem by Robert Burns.
And, for the record, haggis isn't that bad - picture ground meat and (unsweetened) oatmeal mixed together, and that's a close approximation.
So, anyway, yeah, that's another food off my "to eat" list. Pretty much all that's left on there now is endangered species. Oh, and long pig. |
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